Sacrifice of Shoes

i would first like to thank those really kind reponces by my readers in the last entry. Smiling is a rare thing now-a-days, and i felt a smile...not physically but emotionally. Thank you.

I learned something today in my Art History Survey II class...Lavinia Fontana's husband gave up his painting career so that he could take care of the house and she could have a painting career for herself. This was in the 1500s in Italy. A rare occurance. He, a male, gave up his life for his wife. A sacrifice. What is sacrifice? There are several types: sacrifice of love (Christ), physical sacrifice (animals/people, virginity, objects)...and the list continues. We all give up something for someone else and even for ourselves. I have given up emotional capabilities inorder to keep me moving throughout the day. I have also given up the prospect of going to parties and whatnot inorder to spend time with other people. Its sacrifice, but it is also a choice. It is all a choice. We choose to do what we do. We choose to make the sacrifices that we make. But are they worth it? Sometimes, yes. All the time?! Definately no.

I wonder how many times i will have to hurt inorder to feel happiness. After 8 or so months of being together Derek and I realized that we really don't know eachother. We have completely missed that stage of our relationship. We have skipped friendship all together. How was that neglected? I don't understand...but it was. And now we are unsure of where we stand with eachother. We are at a crossroads: to end it and move on, or to change and make things better. But my shoes are totally worn out.

-Reijn