Paige Says...Toys R Us

Ok, i know it is not December any more...nor is it January. You can't blame me too much. School gets in the way of my updating. Again, i apologize in almost every post, but I feel like it is necessary.

It is February. Boy, has life been busy. I have actually hand written some blog entries over the past couple of weeks, but alas, they are probally not going to be electronically posted. I really don't have the time to sit down and type it all up. Its a miracle that i have gotten this one up.

Quick Synopsis.
Well, not much has really changed...school, classes, homework, Jordan; small social life. The only thing that has really changed is that I have a job now. I am a waitress at a local bar here in Lubbock, Bash's Riprock #1. I started on Saturday, and am actually enjoying it greatly. I already spend ungodly amounts of time there, might as well be paid to do so. I'm not making the big bucks, nor do I really expect to do so, but it is enough to have some pocket change. That's all I really want. I also have an art studio now. It is my neighbor's old apartment. They moved down to Houston but did not break their lease, so they are allowing me to use it until the lease is up. It is very kind of them, and I love them so much for it. (I love them even if they didn't do what they did, but they are just amazing people to begin with!) So, on that note, I have been painting, and studying in that new space. I already have a commission or two! It really makes me excited. I am finally doing what I love, AND getting paid for it! Slowly, I am becoming the artist that I want to be. Jordan and I are doing wonderful. Not much has changed in our relationship. Afew fights, but they have made us stronger and taught us our boundaries with eachother. Its good...in a way. Six months will be Valentines day. Ironic, especially in my life (if you know my dating history). We both are planning to work that day, so we may have to celebrate on a later date. Its ok. I won't complain. I love him no matter what. That fact does not scare me at all. I have found happiness in someone who will not hurt me, who will look after me, and who is my rock...or as Paige states it, "I'm acid, and he's my base." We both have men in our lives that stabilizes us out. Something we desperately need. It is such a wonderful feeling.

Weather.
I don't know what it is about Lubbock, but it will be cold and snowing one day, then the next it will be in the 60s. Back and forth, back and forth. It is the wierdest thing, and the most annoying. I'm not quite sure how to dress...or what to stock my draws with. lol

Profound.
Most blogs are designed for social ranting. It is "much to do about nothing". But I have read several blogs that actually have good discussions/topics. It is something I have always wanted to do in my own little space on the web. I did that once, but I really don't do it anymore. Maybe its something I should start again:

Today's topic is reality.

I went to a dorm today to grab some lunch, and what I saw surprised me. It didn't shock me...because I had known of its existance, but I had forgotten. Freshman. Little wanna-be sorority and frat freshman who all need an attitude adjustment, a clue about style, and all of thier cell phones broken. It brings me back to what a friend told me the other day, "Reijn, you have really changed, you're alot more mature now then you were back then." The "back then" he was refering to was the summer of my Freshman/Sophmore year and my entire Sophmore school year. I, personally, have not seen this change, but my peers have. I guess this is a good thing.

I now surround myself with people who are much older than me, and I can converse with them quite easily. Its wonderful infact. Seeing all those Freshman reminded me of what I was at one point. Responsibility was not something that was high on my priority list.
Some times when we are forced into a situation we have to rise to the occasion. Freshman courses that don't require any form of brain functions hinder the personal social growth. But in just the same, taking Junior and Senior level courses forces you to present yourself with your peers in a dictated manner. Thus, we have to be something. We are all forced to grow up. At the age of 21, I am towered down by the prospect of becomming a big kid and finding a real job. Not my night bar side job.

I was told by two returning alumni at the bar the other night, is to enjoy college while i still can. They told me of the monotomy that one falls into when working a daily job. They highly glorified taking that week trip to South Carolina in a hippie van with a friend of mine. He said that "work" was almost like loosing your childlike perspective on things...the glories of learning...exploring. The world is still viewable through rose-colored sunglasses. Growing up is never fun. But it is something we all do, eventually...some more than others.

I don't want to grow up at the age of 23...nor do i really want to grow up at the age of 26. Its going to happen at some point. I watched my friend at the age of 21 get married and have her first child. At the age of 22/23 she is pregnant with her second. At the age of 23, Paige got married and found a grown-up job. So did her husband. Their friend, age 21, already has a grown up job.

It brings me back to what a small boy said to me over the summer, while I was working retail...I asked him how old he was. He answered me quite promptly, "Five."
I replied, "FIVE?! Wow, I wish I was five again."
He stood there. And he stood there...thinking. About seven min. later he piped up, professionally stating, "You know, if you think back to when you were five, you will be five again." I laughed. But six months later, I still think about what he said. Even though, I laughed and initially blew him off, what he said was quite profound. A normal five year old doesn't come up with those things. As adults we forget how it is to be five again. We forget our childhood, in a sense. We mature, and become functional human beings within the boundaries of society. In a way, we lock up Toys R Us and open up the doors to Office Depot.

-Reijn

Cites:
The picture of the boy in gear is from a wikimedia commons page about the Make A Wish foundation. Evan Moriarty is five years old, and survived cancer.