iContent?

so another week of school...and the monotomy of life begins to start on a rolling basis. You have got to love schedules and time tables and making sure your week works just right or everything goes haywire. Something interesting yet not too profound happened to me the other day. I dreampt of reality. How is that possible, you may ask. Reality doesn't truly exist if you really want to get down to the nitty-gritty. But i've been having alot of half-assedly awake dreams lately. I think its because i fall asleep with the TV on and forget to turn it off until i have to wake up. Which, that in itself brings me to this entry.

Tendencies.
I have found alot of tendencies that i lean toward...for better or for worse. I love my solitude, but i have to get my daily people fix or i'll get lonely. I like my darkness but i always like walking outside into the beautiful clear blue sunshine. Its wonderful. I also feel like I have to have things just right, the way i like them, and if they are in dissarray the world is comming to an end. I guess i have found my contentment. So to my dream. I pretty much found myself comparing my current life style and tendencies to that of Joey. This is scary to me. We both understand how he and I are very simular and see ourselves in eachother...but i honestly DO NOT want to turn out like him. Yet i find happiness in solitude and in people. I find myself waking up after a long nights rest, lonely. Yet i will chase people out of my apartment so i can be alone. Contentment in Solitude. I guess that's what you would call it.

To add to this contentment i have my electronics and animals. I love my iPod, my beautiful mac, my useful Dell, and my cute hedeghogs: Tessie and Lily. Eventhough this set up is not ideal, it is good enough for me. And I like it. Now my question is, should i be content in my situation? I am a busy college student trying to put together study groups, and attend meetings and parties...while study and get art work done...should I be too worried about my Joey-ish tendencies? I refuse to turn out like him, yet we find happiness in the same things. It may be because i'm finally content and happy with being single once again. Its a nice feeling. Its a feeling i have forgotten. My heart, soul and mind are finally healing. Maybe i'm finding contentment in the solitude of healing.

On another note...i finally went back to church Sunday...well sorta. One of my band instructors asked me to play at this church he plays at...and I did. And i was very different from what i'm used to, but rewarding none the less. I like it. Maybe i'll continue and start going back to church all together. We'll see.

Got to run!

-Reijn