Bread
the 100th post...amazing.
Its amazing how life can become so stale. And by stale i mean, not necessarily exciting...but dull. I mentioned to Joey awhile back asking, "Do you feel incomplete when your soul is not in your art?" And he replied, "yes, that is what happens when you are in the wrong place in your life." I couldn't have agreed with him more. I just got off the phone with a dear dear friend of mine, Adam. I had neglected to enlighten him on my life for the past 6 months. So i gave him the condenced version in about 30 min. By the end of it all, all i could say was...i'm content but yet I am not. I feel stale...very stagnent with life. Now, don't get me wrong...i enjoy my relationship with Derek, and I also enjoy my friend's company along with most of my major classes. But i am taking several classes that are not my forte and make me feel very out of place...especially since they deal with my majors. Its kinda disheartening.
I really don't have much to say this round, purely for the fact that i'm tired, hungry, and have relationship obligations inwhich i need to attend to.
*huggles*
...and to my readers...i would love a responce! We could even get a discussion started with every entry...it would be intereting.
-Reijn
posted by Reijn of the Elfin Muse | 10:12 PM
6 Comments:
I've noticed that quality to life. I wonder sometimes, "Why am I here? Why am I alive?" Everything seems to come back to my physical shell and what society tells me to do. Where is there room for a God/ eternal future/ originality in that?
What makes "me" anything more than a result of the surroundings I was raised in? I'm like an automaton in so many ways. When I'm hungry, I can't do anything. When I'm in pain, I can't do anything. I have to sleep every 14 hours. There are millions of people just. like. me. Who have everything. I've. Got. I'm pretty far from being unique. It's disgruntling.
FURTHERMORE, days blend, and now they're blending on high speed with nothing to distinguish them.
I often think about the fact that I will, one of these whirling dervish days, cease to exist. I will close my eyes, and then I won't open them again.
And the next morning, the sun will rise in the west. As usual.
And I will have been just one more draw on Earth's limited resources.
*sigh* Everything seemed completely different when I was a child. (And yes, I did think about oddly abstract concepts when I was small. I was weird. Haven't changed much.) For one thing, I couldn't imagine being old, or infirm, or alone. Now I can. I see where I'm inevitably headed, and then I deliberately turn my head and eat another meal at Wendy's because my stomach's grumbling. I'm not some sort of flesh-caged spirit-- but a mass of physical urges.
Whatever. I don't think I addressed any of the things you brought up in your entry, though I did manage to depress myself. So you know... I'll call you sometime tomorrow evening; I've put off several assignments that are due tomorrow morning. Go me. Woot woot.
awsome...we have tons to talk about! *nods*
I totally see where you are comming from. Life is a huge monotony of movement. I always catch myself looking at people around campus on thier cell phones talking to some poor soul on the other line when there are probally more interesting and real people walking right past them. We are all too busy with our lives, walking to class, getting the grade, etc. Its sad. But when the soul is lost...what can one do? Continue in life hoping that it gets better?! I don't believe that...i believe that I must do something to change the bread...like throw it away.
or eat it. *shrugs*
it's the nature of life, of living. everything is about the perspective you're looking from. our minds are such intricate things; what we believe, we make happen.
to a certain extent. not talking about magic-- more like the placebo/ nocebo effects. where sugar pills have the same effects as actual drugs on depressed people.
let me rephrase. if we understand the facts of our reality to be something other than it really is, it's still our reality.
hm. this stuff seems quite fluffy when it isn't documented. but i'm too lazy to go research.
what i think i'm trying to say, is that i could conceivably by happier with life if i changed the way i view it. without doing anything else-- just my perspective. it's a theory, right? i'll let you know how it goes someday when i succeed.
by then you'll probably be famous, or doing something off the public radar screen. we'll compare notes. XP
we both will be famous for doing something totally out there! *nods* BUT, i see what you are saying...but at the same time, think of this...you are your talents. If you are in an environment or a place where your talents are surpressed (in the sense of not being fed, therefore it cannot grow)then how can your life be good?! Life can only be "good" when you are in the place where you are ment to be. In my opinion...not necessarily they way perception works...but actual location
that is undeniably a contributing factor. undeniably.
i should know-- definitely not "growing" in any sense of the matter here at UT. It's not going to happen. I waited through freshman year, thinking that "once I start my English classes" things would start involving me, giving me room to expand.
not happening. so that's also definitely a piece-- environment is a big thing, undeniably. but i think that the two ideas aren't mutually exclusive.
instead, i think my argument would be considered an intrinsic factor and yours would be an extrinsic, and 1+1= stagnation on both our parts.
i agree with you on that one.
So, wanna talk about the story?!
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