my panic button
what can you stomach? What throws you into a panic attack? For me, its the Holicaust. I cannot stomach it at all. Everytime i am faced with the aspect of studying it, i loose my self control. Now, don't get me wrong. I have studied it and i believe that it happened. I've been to the National Holicaust Museum in Washington DC, i've read "Night" and i've studied the subject over and over. But the result is the same, i am thrown into a panic attack and my stomach churns. Maybe i was Jewish in a different life, maybe my heart is so big that i cannot fathom the brutality that happened, maybe the fact that it was so brutal that my brian cannot understand the fact of the matter, maybe i cannot seperate myself from that pain and horror. Whatever it is, it is...and i can't help but think that people that have a fasination with the Holicaust are sick sick people.
So what is your panic trigger?!
-Reijn
posted by Reijn of the Elfin Muse | 2:45 PM
2 Comments:
i would think that my panic button would have to be worrying about letting people down. i often have dreams where i or someone i know is in danger, and i try to react or help as quickly as possible, but i'm always to slow, or i fumble something in my hands, and inevitably, everyone is looking to me as their only hope of salvation, and all i can do is look back and say "sorry i let you down" i know i am a capable person, considered somewhat the "leader" of my pack that i call my friends, but i can never face the idea that one day they will need me, and i won't be able to provide the safety or leadership they need. all my life i have been considered worthless and a deadbeat by my family, no matter how many times i have proven to the contrary by my actions and accomplishments. openly admitting to me that i am not the favorite of the family, i understand i have been given a large burden of self worth anxiety, but surprisingly i am not afficted with much or any insecurity issues... i know what i can do, i know what i am worth... i do not doubt my own ability, it is just a matter of getting those i care about to see those qualities in me. i will prove them wrong about me, i will succeed in this, if nothing else.....
but what if i face a challenge where someone i care about is depending on me... and what if in that instance my best efforts are not good enough?
brandon
My Panic button eh? well i guess that is haveing to worrying about the one i love, i mean when she dosent call at the right time or dosent come home when she said she would or when she is late. To tell you the truth with my current love right now i'm freaking out because i have no way to contact her and i know she's going threw a lot of stuff and sometimes she can be suicidal and not knowing if she did anything stuped like that is really nerve recking but yea thats my panic button
Phil
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