The Red Balloon

Rediscovering this world with the realization of an adult but the nuances of a child carrying a brand-new red balloon as it trails behind them in playful glee.

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Location: Sugar Land; Lubbock, Texas, United States

Living the life of an excentric elfen artist in a world of logic and numbers.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Pepidemiology of Bands


PEPIDEMIOLOGY: BEST BANDS


In our ongoing study of the world of college football pomp and circumstance, we present our rundown of our favorite bands. Sometimes denigrated, often ignored, and occasionally hit with thrown objects from the opposing and home stands, the members of college football’s marching bands endure many a travail while earning the 6-7 completely free football tickets they enjoy each year.


Marching bands: they matter whether you pay attention or not.


These include:


1. Wearing wool/poly blends in hostile climes. In warm weather, band members lose gallons of body fluids wearing heavy, double-knit jackets while marching, hopping, and standing around in the sun. In cold weather, the poly kicks in, and never seems to hold heat in for longer than the first quarter. In many senses, the originator of the military style uniform for college marching band members took every possible wrong turn in the design of the outfit, choosing a fabric that’s simultaneoulsly heavy in hot weather and light in cold weather, stitching that ensures a near complete lack of mobility, and hats that require straps, bungees, and occasionally staples through the flesh to keep on a member’s head. It belongs in the hall of historically tragic design with Firestone radial tires,
Happy Time Harry, and the Tacoma Narrows Bridge.


2. Abuse. We’ve seen spitting, the throwing of objects, and on one occasion, a fight between a gay flag squad guy and two rural bon vivants who envied his sequined outfit. The flag guy won, which proves you shouldn’t ever mess with a man who tosses a fake rifle in the air all day.


3. The inability to leave, even when hopes of victory have been all but incinerated. Most people may hightail it to the exits when the other team goes up by fifty. You may not. At its worst, this can induce secondary signs of trauma, perfectly illustrated by the 1996 Fiesta Bowl, where the Florida band was reduced to throwing a rubber chicken in the air in the fourth quarter to amuse themselves. However stupid that may sound, it was far better than what was happening on the field.

Given that, bands give much to the gameday atmosphere. They provde a rallying cry for fans to unite around, providing collective cues to an otherwise disorganized mob. They pump a constant supply of festivity into the environment with songs and, if they’re particularly festive, spastic dancing, as well. More importantly, they give a counterpoint to the cheerleaders, whose charm wears thin after the first ten minutes of any game (especially if they have an amplifier and a mike.) If fans have nothing else to thank the band for, it’s drowning them out for just a few blessed seconds of every game

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Saying Goodbye


I have decided to change the look of my blog.  Even though I still consider myself an elfen muse, I am changing.  I am not the same girl who sat on that couch in Waco, Texas...when my then boyfriend walked into the room and smiled.  That smile.   That damned smile, I could never understand what was behind it...and even now, I probably will never truly understand.  But it was the words behind that smile that told me that I was an elfen muse...I was HIS muse.  Four years have past since that moment.  I took that moment and lived with it, developed it, and hoped that maybe, just maybe that moment would return.  There is still a part of me that will always be that elfen muse...the quiet girl with the glee behind curious eyes.  I was blindly in love...and wanted to be perfect.  I wanted to be his muse.  I wanted to be everything to him. 

Four years have past.  And to be perfectly honest, talking to him is never easy.  The "what ifs" always come up into our conversations.  The ensnaring tenderness so dangerously intertwined with brutality scares me and makes me want more all at the same time.  I listened to his recording of "Believe" by Elton John the other day.  It reminded me why I fell in love with him, why i cared so much about him.  There is a beautiful power he has in his music and in his passion.  I know its dangerous, but I have never gone down the easy path.  THAT path does not exist as far as I'm concerned.  I love him.  I will always continue to love him, no matter what happens or is in store for my future.  He took a part of me and he keeps a part of me that I can never get back, even if I asked for it.  In reality, I am completely frightened of him, but I love him so much.  May this be hard for you to understand, I am sorry, but it is the truth.  

If there has been one thing I have learned in my few 21 years on this earth, (4 years of awakening) is that you cannot deny reality.  Whether its the reality that you have built for yourself or its the reality that knocks you over the head, it is the harsh truth of the world in which we live in.  This is why I have changed my blog layout and title.  I will always be the little elfen muse, but the harsh reality of it all is that I am not her now.  I feel like an adult holding a red balloon and trying to see the world through its red tents.  I feel like I am holding this metaphor of innocence so tightly that it will pop, and all I have in my hands are rubber shards that stretch and bend, but will never be what it once was.  

This is the reality of The Red Balloon.

- Reijn