The Red Balloon

Rediscovering this world with the realization of an adult but the nuances of a child carrying a brand-new red balloon as it trails behind them in playful glee.

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Location: Sugar Land; Lubbock, Texas, United States

Living the life of an excentric elfen artist in a world of logic and numbers.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Do you Know me?

fill it out in my comments page please! Its just for fun *nods*

My name:

Who is the love of my life:

Where did we meet:

Take a stab at my middle name:

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I smoke:

Do I drink:

What was your first impression of upon meeting me/seeing me:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Am I funny:

What's my favorite type of music:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

Do I have any special talents:

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what):

Have you ever hugged me:

Do you miss me...do you think i miss you:

What is my favorite food:

Have you ever had a crush on me:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

What's your favorite memory of me:

Who do I like right now:

What is my worst habit:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing I would bring?

Are we friends:

Do you want us to be more than friends?

Will you repost this so I can do it for you?

Touching Lyrics

before i start let me explain this entry. I was in a happy place in art class yesterday listening to a playlist on my iPod. It has all my favorite songs so of course it puts me in a happy place! Then i realized that there is one part in each of the songs that i absolutely love...it either touches me, the line is just poetic or something. So i decided to write them down here and show you where my heart and my mind thought process is when i listen to music. *nods*

~*~

Up in the balcony
All the Romeo's are bleeding for your hand
Blowing theater kisses
Reciting lines they don't understand
- "Original Sin" by Elton John


I never realised the passing hours of evening showers
A slip noose hanging in my darkest dreams
I'm strangled by your haunted social scene
Just a pawn out-played by a dominating queen
It's four o'clock in the morning
Damn it listen to me good
I'm sleeping with myself tonight
Saved in time, thank God my music's still alive

...You almost had your hooks in me didn't you dear
You nearly had me roped and tied
Altar-bound, hypnotized
Sweet freedom whispered in my ear...
- "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John


I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had an angel...
...I`m in love with my lust
Burning angelwings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight
- "Wish I had an Angel" by Nightwish


all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
- "Bring Me to Life" by Evenescence


Show me how it ends it's alright
Show me how defenseless you really are
satisfied and empty inside
That's alright, let's give this another try
- "So Cold" by Breaking Benjamin


And the hot wind heats the bamboo blinds
And your almond eyes always shine
Sitting cool behind your painted fan
All the secrets of the east
Conceal the beauty and the beast
For tender is the man in her Japanese hands

Flesh on silk looks different
Than on a cotton sheet back home
Where no one wears their hair like yours
Beneath those oriental combs
And with your thirsty fingers
Running up and down my spine
You forget the western woman
When you're sleeping on Kyoto time
- "Japanese Hands" by Elton John


When I said that I don't care
It really means my engine's breaking down
The chisel chips my heart again
The granite cracks beneath my skin
I crumble into pieces on the ground
- "This Train Don't Stop Here Anymore" by Elton John


Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me
- "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me" by Elton John


Maybe it’s been to long for me
Maybe I’m too far gone
I’m not looking for sympathy
But I know something’s gotta be wrong
Remind me now what it means to kneel
Get me out of the way...

You slowly break me down
You slowly turn me around
I’m learning how to live
I’m learning how to love
Now that You’re here slowly showing me how
- "Slowly" by Avalon


For every soul there is a midnight
When it’s silent in the room but loud inside
You lie awake what seems like forever
And you wrestle with the big stuff that can not be denied
All of life
Has led you to this moment

When the time comes
And the games are finally over
There’s no more pretending
All charades are done
And the time comes
When the soul is finally ready
You know the truth and
This time you don’t run...
- "When the Time Comes" by Avalon


Open up your eyes
and see these warning signs
Breaking through your heart and all the reason of your mind

Open up to find
your action leaves behind
The very hope that's given for the world to feel alive
- "Open Up your Eyes" by Jeremy Camp


Don't judge a thing until you know what's inside it
Dont' push me - I'll fight it
Never gonna give in - never gonna give it up no
If you can't catch a wave then your'e never gonna ride
You can't come uninvited
Never gonna give in - never gonna give up no
You can't take me I'm free
- "You Can't Take Me" by Brian Adams

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know...
- "Never Alone" BarlowGirl

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Thoughts

Whenever i walk from math class back to my dorm and listen to music i tend to think. I tend to think alot. Sometimes its a good thing and others its very very bad. Well this time i'm not sure how it was...but that's ok. I have to keep reminding myself...I need to be devoted to my art and my work. I need to become obsessed with it and completely consumed. It needs to be part of my being. I talked to Derek and finally Joey, and what they both said hit me wierd. Not good nor bad, just wierd. Derek reminded me of how i used to be, and Joey reminded me of how I sorta am now and how i've reverted back alittle. We were talking and Joey anylized me to a "T". He was so right, it scared me quite a bit...in many ways i wasn't ready to read something like that about myself but we are completely honest with eachother and i appreciated that. Just walking today i realized though the convos and the lots and lots of pondering and drawing up Corey's birthday present in class, that i need to get myself focused and consume myself with art and whatnot. In many ways i'm taking that step by going away for the summer. I am becomming myown person, not what my parents want me to be, Derek, Joey or even Tyler...but me. Its more of a feeling than something i can really explain. But its something that I have figured out and need to continuously remind myself of.

On another note:
Simple Facts about Reijn:

1. give her coffee (carmel mocciato or a Road Warrior) and she's happy
2. give her elton john and she's happy
3. give her a berritto and she's happy
4. give her a book or a sketchbook and a pencil and she's happy
5. hugs and massages are needed for continous maitenance
6. DO NOT take away caffeen or beware of a grumpy Reijn
7. Leave her alone in her happy place or again...grumpy Reijn
8. don't be worried about anything until you hear, "I practiced my flute for three hours today."
9. There is a reason why Reijn is also Chardata the Fire Mage
10. Reijn's life is a soap opera...get used to it...she rants.

Blesses,
-Reijn

My new addiction

Original Sin


Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
Available on the album Songs From The West Coast



Oh, it's carnival night
And they're stringing the lights around you
Hanging paper angels
Painting little devils on the roof

Oh the furnace wind
Is a flickering of wings about your face
In a cloud of incense
Yea, it smells like Heaven in this place

I can't eat, can't sleep
Still I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside

Tell me how, you know now, the ways and means of getting in
Underneath my skin,
Oh you were always my original sin
And tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin

A dream will fly
The moment that you open up your eyes
A dream is just a riddle
Ghosts from every corner of your life

Up in the balcony
All the Romeo's are bleeding for your hand
Blowing theater kisses
Reciting lines they don't understand

I can't eat, can't sleep
Still I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside

Tell me how, you know now, the ways and means of getting in
Underneath my skin,
Oh you were always my original sin
And tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin...

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I SO was the Yellow Ranger! (Trini) *laughs*

You're a 90's kid if:

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You danced to "wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green* Ranger were meant to be together.

To the last sentence you said.....hey...Tommy was the green* ranger!!!!

*later to be white

When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being tommy.
(I was Trini, thankyouverymuch.)

You remember when super nintendo's became popular.

You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

"I've fallen and I can't get up"

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

Two words... Trapper Keeper.

You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS

Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

When water babies and doodle bears were the cool new thing.

When you could sit all day and make paper chains and never get bored.

When you would make designs with beads by ironing them.

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You remember a time before the WB.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You thought Brain woud finally take over the world

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

You remember when razor scooters were cool.

when we were younger:

Before the MySpace frenzy.

Before the Internet & text messaging.

Before Sidekicks & iPods.

Before MIKE JONES

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX.

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

WHEN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS WERE KOOL

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Way back.

Tag.

Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.

Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.

Red Light, Green Light.

Heads Up 7 Up.

Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.

Hopskotch.

Slip-n-Slides.... now there are just ghetto ones

Tree Houses.

Hula Hoops.

HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!

"POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION..ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS.

The annoying Nano Pets & Furbies.

Running through the sprinklers.

That "Little Mermaid"

Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.

Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car.

Drinking Sqeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"

CAPRI SUN

Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, Fairy Princess comforter.

Hey Arnold, Doug, Rugrats.

The original Power Rangers

Or what about:

The Secret Life of Alex Mac.

Ren & Stimpy.

Double Dare.

Family Double Dare.

Rocco's Modern Life.

AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.

Wild & Crazy Kids.

Clarissa Explains it All.

CAMP NOWHERE

salute your shorts(CAMP ANAWANA)

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

The original cast members of All That.

Kenan & Kel.

"CITY GUYS"...ROLLW/ THE CITY GUYS

DOUG!

magic school bus.

Nick Arcade.

ANIMANIACS!!!!!

flash forward.

the adventures of pete and pete.

legends of the hidden temple.

hey dude.

dinosaurs.

Mummies Alive

pinky and the brain.

Sailor Moon.

blossom.

hangin with mr. copper.

wishbone.

bill-nye the science guy!

MR RODGERS!!!!

Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life & I Love Lucy.

Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.

or nick jr. with face

gulah gulah island

little bear

Busy Town

under the unbrella tree

PEE-WEE'S MOTHER F***ING PLAYHOUSE!!!

The Big Comfy Couch

Dudley the Dragon

Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.

Class field trips.

When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.

When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.

When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.

When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

Go back to the time when:

Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'

'Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly'.

It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.

Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.

Where the best form of protection was "circle circle dot dot now I've got my cootie shot, circle circle square square now I've got it everywhere"

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.

When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.

When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear

who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days

STRESS!!!!

i'm stressed and tired. I'm going to attack more homework now. I know i know. *huggles* I don't know how much i'll be writing in my blog this week...we'll see. Hopefully something exciting will happen to me this week.

Oh my art teacher called me perfect. I'll tell the story later. *huggles*

-Reijn

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Saturday Jam

Saturday I jammed with Derek and his friend Chris and we put out a one take song. Its rough and needs alot of improvement but its ok. We had fun, that's all that matters. My flute instructor said that we are off to a really good start. He also said that we have some really good ideas out there. That makes me really excited. Anywho click on this guy's myspace and then click on "Irish Flute Song" Its not really irish but it was the mindset i was in while i was playing. Enjoy!

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=50463558

-Reijn

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Friday Night Movie Night

*sighs* well, movie night went great. Corey joined our small group of three...and it was fun. We watched The Dark Crystal. It really is an amazing movie. Then we all just kinda played keep-away the stuffed animals from Reijn. It was, how should i put it, i was at a dissadvantage being a girl against three guys who are stronger and bigger than i. bleh! Mmmmm...Corey, Tyler and I also went to the mall to look around. Corey ended up spending money at Walden's but that's all good! *nods*

I was productive today. I went to class, turned in a scholarship form, returned a jacket, went to a meeting then played around this evening. *nods* But besides that, nothing new came up. *nods* So i'll move on from this entry to give way to the next one tomorrow...and anime watching along with studying for three tests next week. gah!

-Reijn

Happy Birthday Tyler

Well, today was Tyler's birthday. I got the car from the Vaughns and I took Tyler to Toys-r-Us, and let him pick out his present. It was fun. We played with all the toys and looked at everything. No button was safe from the both of us. I attacked the stuffed animals and the My Little Pony section. It was alot of fun. Tyler ended up getting a toy from the movie Ice Age...the squirrl with his nut. It was awsome. We found it in the Barbie Faerie isle. *laughs* From there we went to Olive Garden and ate dinner. We chatted. Our waiter was (as i put it nicely) decent. We left and then went to Walmart because I needed groceries. We both bought movies...which i shouldn't have done. I'm going to have to wait for my mac until summer...GAH! bleh bleh bleh. Anywho, so movie night is going to be awsome tomorrow. Dark Crystal is on the list. I also bought Labrynth and Hawls Moving Castle and Crash. *nods* my movie collection rocks ass...i'm just missing Sin City and afew other movies but its all good.

Mmmmm...yes yesterday it snowed...and today it was just down right cold. mmmm...i'm going to be hitting the books really hard this weekend but its ok. i'm not going to complain too much *nods*

I can't wait until the summer...my job is going to kick ass too. I'm so pumped and Tyler may come with me. *nods* That will so make my summer...i won't be able to spend time with Joey at all, which will really upset me but that's ok...and i will be away from alot of my close friends but oh well...Tyler and I will be working our butts off and having fun in the process. *nods*

mmmmmm...i can't think of anything else to say. I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing everyday. I sorta got out of it for awhile there and it makes me sad. So i'm working on getting it back. *nods* Well, thats all for now! *huggles*

-Reijn

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Freak Spring Snow

it snowed today/tonight. Snowflakes were getting caught in my hair and tickling my nose. It was fun and really cold. Tyler attacked me with snow balls. It was ammusing. We hung out with Corey (a friend of Derek's) and then envaded Derek's place with a salad. I'm serious! Anywho, tomorrow is Tyler's birthday and I need to write an essay that i didn't do today, smart Reijn, very smart! *laughs* Just alittle tid bit of info for my reading audience!

-Reijn

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Too Many Thoughts (long long entry)

Gaining an innocence lost. I finished reading a book my boss, Joe, lent me: Velvet Elvis. The entire thing is actually quite interesting and very practical, but what got me most was what the author/pastor said in his epilogue:

“I’m like you. I have seen plenty done in the name of God that I’m sure God doesn’t want anything to do with. I have lots of reasons for bailing on the whole thing.

I’m also like you because I have choice. To become bitter, cynical, jaded, and hard. Anybody can do that. A lot have. Hatred is a powerful, unifying force. And there is a lot to be repulsed by.

Or, like you, I can choose to reclaim my innocence. We can choose to reclaim our innocence together. WE can insist that hope is real and that a group of people who love God and others really can change the world. WE can reclaim our idealism and our belief and our confidence in the big ideas that stir us deep in our bones. We
can commit all the more to being the kinds of people who are learning how to do what Jesus teaches us.

…I am not going to s top dreaming of new ways to live lives of faith and creativity and meaning and significance…we need you to rediscover wonder and awe.” (Rob Bell in Velvet Elvis, pp. 176-177).


His point was choosing to gain back an innocence lost. Making the choice to not become cynical, bitter, hardened, calloused, damaged goods, etc. To choose to become child-like in the views of life, love, and Christ. I almost started crying in the SUB when I read it…and I do not cry over movies and books. My heart broke. It is something that I have been struggling and wanting to gain back—my innocence, my being, myself. And pretty much this young pastor states that it is a personal and mental choice, yet what if I do not know where to start that mindset? I have forgotten. I have completely forgotten what it means to be untainted. I can’t feel my emotions any more, I can’t feel my heart. I have achieved something that I have been yearning to achieve for a long time…I have torn my bleeding heart off of my sleeve.

I was talking to Derek the other night. I realized that I still have compassion and I still have my core being but my heart is gone…my passion for love has disappeared. I could care less how I affect other people. I care for people close to me, but I could care less about “strangers” around me. I honestly do not understand why any more. I’m perplexed, but I am not sure if that is the right way to feel about it. That is my issue…that is my problem. I think I should be worried and scared but I don’t care…I honestly don’t care and I’m confused on why I don’t care. Again, that’s my problem. Is there truly a way to gain your innocence back when you do not remember how to go about making that mental decision?


~*~


Well, I’m sorry that I haven’t typed up a blog entry in such a long time. I’ve been swamped with my art project and sleep that I just haven’t been able to get around to writing an entry. I’ve written, but not in my blog unfortunately, and I apologize to my readers.

Well, there are a ton of stories I need to tell:

First off would be the plane rid back from Houston to Lubbock. It was a complete nightmare. To start off the story, it was raining and the plane was delayed in Austin getting to Houston due to the storms. That was an hour sitting in the air port doing nothing, talking on the phone with Derek (who was driving back from Austin to Lubbock) and on the phone with Tyler, Ann and my parents telling them what was going on. So that was just part of Houston. We got on the plane finally and then they stopped the safty talks and told us that we would be sitting on the runway for an undefined amount of time due to the delays in Dallas (my layover). They were projecting up to a second hour delay. Thankfully it never came to that…we were out in 20 min. The flight over to Dallas was not bad at all...but once we got to Dallas, that was another matter. We stayed on the tarmat for about two hours. The captian came on and he said that they had to revert our flight path to a longer path because of the weather so they were giving us extra fuel. BUT then that flight path became dangerous and our orginial path opened up so they had to defuel instead of taking passangers off. I turned to the guy sitting next to me and said that i give them and extra 30 min and then we are outta here. He laughed, and i was so right. I did have a good conversation with the guy though. The flight decending into Lubbock was the most trubulent that i have ever experianced in my life. I have grown up flying and never been scared. I've also flown soon after 9/11 and i was not scared. But this flight scared me. We were literally rocked and pushed around like a flag in the wind. Everybody had white nuckles. I looked at the girl sitting across the isle and she looked calm but then i looked at the iPod in her hands and she was gripping it so hard that i thought she might break it. We got back to lubbock around 10:45 or so, instead of 7:30-8:00.
Well, i hit the ground running. Art projects and papers and what not. Last night my computer and keyboard decided to be a bitch. My Internet window likes to flip out on me so i restarted my computer...then my keyboard decides to die on me. I had to go out and buy a new keyboard since my other one had stuff spilled all over it. Well, i bought a wireless...but i had to download the drivers into my computer...but i couldn't log in b/c i didn't have a working keyboard. So i had to go around the dorm looking for people who first had a PC, second had a keyboard, and third had a keyboard that connected with a USB port. It was harder than thought. Eventually i found a sorority chick that would let me borrow her keyboard for 5 min so i could log into my computer. It worked beautifully. I logged in and downloaded the drivers onto my computer and programed my wireless keyboard and mouse. Its so much fun having wireless now: quiter keyes, faster mouse...its nice.
Well, i'm exausted. I think i'm going to sit on my bed with my wireless and chat on gaia for alittle while. *nods* best of luck to you all...*huggles*
-Reijn

Monday, March 20, 2006

back in lubbock

mmmm....i'll talk about my flight back later, i need to work on my art project...and i have something important to say that i wrote down...so...i'll get to it soon. *nods* bbs!

-Reijn

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Sugar Land day 8

Well, yesterday was fun and fine. I don't remember alot of it unfortunately...and that is very strange considering i didn't drink. Oh! I think it was because i was so tired. Anywho...i had a photoshoot with my dear friend Tanya. We have been friends since middle school. You can check it out on my facebook. I don't have all of them up but some of my more favorites are up and running. I also went to a party that night and saw Will again. We didn't talk nor did we really look at eachother. Its ok. Its actually quite ironic...our entire breakup was based on a misscommunication...and we didn't talk to eachother because we thought the other was mad at the other still: misscommunication. That's ok. That will more than likely be the last time i will ever see him again, esp. since i will be taking the summer job.

Today has been pretty mundane. I studied and worked on the computer. I took a shower which is going to be quite counterproductive since i will be seeing Joey soon. Yes! the jackass called me and said, "i'm in houston" and i'm like, "jerk! let me meet you someplace!" anywho...so yeah, studies, meeting up with buddies and going to coffee shops seem to be my existance. I love it. If you are ever in Houston and i'm in houston too you'll be able to find me at its a grind.

sad....i know!

*huggles* I'm headed back to Lubbock tomorrow afternoon!

-Reijn

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Sugar Land day 6

Well, Derek came and left. It was good. I showed him around town, which was kinda cool. We went to the Sugar Factory and looked around down there. I haven't even done that myself and i've lived in SL my entire life. It was very interesting. We also went to downtown houston and saw Maguai. That was an interesting experiance in itself. I learned how to somewhat navigate houston and find Westhimer, which i'm horrible at. I also was in a club (numbers) with alot of people smoking weed. And that gave me the biggest headache and stomach ache in the world. Derek said he was alittle stoned after we left the concert b/c of the smoking. We saw afew other Tech students there, some we knew and some we didn't know. I found that interesting. Maquai is a very good, very good band. I was thoroughly impressed.

I introduced Derek to my friends over here...at least most of them. "the Group" at least met him. And i think overall they enjoyed him. He said he wish he had friends like those when he was in High School. It just made me realize how good friends back home i really have, and I am going to miss them dearly if i leave for the summer. *shrugs* So is life.

I've enjoyed emmesuly being back home. I really do love Houston and the greenery and the beautiful trees. I love my Its-a-Grind...and my wonderful restraunts. I HAD JAPANESE FOOD YESTERDAY! gah! that put me in a happy place. *nods* AND green tea icecream! HAPPY PLACE!!!!

I was sitting in my room last night and i rediscovered my books. Oh, my beautiful beautiful books. I also realized that i had some romance novels from years years years ago that i never gave back to my friend who got married this past summer. I guess she's not getting those books back. I feel bad. I also need to return my horse instructor's book. I will do that this week. Anywho, i realized that women and girls who read romance novels for the most part read them because they can't get any themselves. They read them so they get the emotional and alittle of the physical pleasure of intemency. I don't know, i could be wrong but it is something that i realized last night.

Well, there really is not much to say...i'm hanging out with my friends here and i'm buckling down and starting homework today too. There is a party tomorrow and i have photoshoots comming up that i'm going to get done...so...that is all i have to say right now *nods*

@ Lisa: i would love to hang out and have lunch or something with you! I don't know if you still have my cell number...if not drop me an e-mail: chardata@yahoo.com

@ Joey: yes, we'll chat tonight...i promise! I've missed talking to you! *huggles*

@ Tyler: we need to chat! Miss ya' bud!

*huggles* all

-Reijn

Monday, March 13, 2006

Sugar Land day 4

well, i haven't made as detailed blog entries as i usually do, mostly because i don't know what to say and i don't have alot of time. I don't have the privacy that i usually have here at home. mmmmm...anywho, i experianced pure anger the other day. I haven't felt that in a long time if ever. I discovered that the pure anger that i felt is the complete inverse of the pure love that i have felt. I guess to those who know me and heared me after the fact, it just shows the passion i feel when my heart is all in it. Anywho, so i felt pure anger and it scared me. Now i'm back right where i started...hurt, scarred, and battered once again.

Well, i've been able to relax now that i'm here in Bubble Land. Its been nice...just to relax and be normal. *nods* Lots and lots of sleep is making me less and less grumpy. Though, being back home is reminding me why i was so desperate to leave in the first place...drama and life sucks when it comes to my family and my grandmother. I am very happy i really don't live there and deal with it. I am very thankful that i don't live her and deal with it. It just pushes the idea of me leaving for the summer and not going home. I won't have to deal with all of this legal stuff and whatnot. Just for all my readers: alztimers is a horrible disease and it is eating my family apart.

Well, i attack Its-a-Grind every day...and its very nice. It makes me happy. And Derek is comming to SL today. *nods* I'm going to show him around and take pictures too...probally tomorrow. We are going to go a concert tomorrow night and a party tonight. mmmmmm...i don't know what else to say. *shrugs* microwaves and home made meals. Being a college student is always an adventure. *nods* Okies...well, have a great day!

-Reijn

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sugar Land day 1

well, i'm back in the bubble finally...and i was in my happy place. I had my elton john, my green trees, a nice breeze, my Its-a-Grind coffee, and a car...i was happy. Everything was great and still is. I went to a party and saw my ex there...and he totally told me off and said that i was "easy" and that the entire year we spent together was all for naught. He said that he couldn't look at me nor talk to me ever. I left the party and was raging mad...i mean raging mad. I was shaking i was so mad. I've totally decided that he is out of my life for good, i'm deleting his number from my phone and everything. He has hurt me for the last time...he has claimed that he has grown up, but the total fact that he invited me to a party then completely tears me down just shows the maturity level he has. I still have my dignity and my pride. I still have the people in my life that still matter and love me. Brian was a sweetheart and went to IHOP with me (which is making me sick right now, damn IHOP) and helped calm me down. It was sweet of him and I thank him tenfold for it. *sighs* well, i'm wiped right now and i think i'm going to head off to bed and get up and play at church in the morning. Oh, my boss came to my house today and i'm considering more and more about going and taking that job...its either that or do other stuff...who knows...but i kinda wanna talk to Joey some more about it. Anywho...*huggles* and joey, text me or something. *huggles*

Now and Forever
Reijn

Friday, March 10, 2006

The Bubble

I'm headed back to the lovely Bubble i like to call Sugar Land! I'll write more about stuff, when i get there. I have afew things to type about but i really don't have the time for it right now. I'm going to go scarf down some food and head outta here! Outta Lubbock, and back to civilization and some form of normality! *nods* Okies! i'll ttyl you all! *huggles*

-Reijn

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

10 Ways to be Sexy

I was walking back from my art history class and the wind was blowing my already terebly tangled hair all over the place. And at the same time my sherong that am wearing would catch the wind just right...and i was catching every male i walked past eye. *laugh* Then i was thinking about afew other things too, like a convo i had with my dear dear I.L.L. afew nights before. Anywho, i thought to write down tips that make Reijn all sexy and that girls can read and study and my guy friends can get a good laugh.

  1. know your own style and what looks good on you. Know what color is best on you. For example, red. I look good in red. I look good in mostly solid colors anyway, but red. So my wardrobe consists mostly of red things...well red, black, and white...solid colors. I said, know your style, be uniquely unique. Don't be afraid to pop out from other people.
  2. little things make a difference, like when you walk don't move your entire arm unless you are hawling ass, move from your wrists to your elbow...and nothing more. Oh, and make sure that your hands are relaxed.
  3. Speaking of hands...finger nails...they have more of a use than just asthetics...they are also very useful tools when needed...yes..tools = weaponry, seriously! I've had to use mine acouple of times. Girls, if you don't have nails or you keep on breaking them off, put clear nail polish on them...it works wonders. *nods* Nails make the female hand look so much more beautiful and dainty.
  4. hair is the next thing...make sure hair complements your features, whether long or short...preferably long.
  5. now done with the physical asthetics...know how to use your surroundings!
  6. when the wind blows keep your head down and let it catch your hair...then look up after awhile, try to make eye contact if possible. That is very effective...catch eye contact while looking up and putting your head up while the wind is catching your hair.
  7. shadows and sunlight are great. If there is a tree casting shadows in your path walk under the tree...let the light shining through play upon your clothes and hair. It wouldn't hurt to make it look like you enjoy the shade with a slight smile or something.
  8. Make sure your eyes are always smiling, unless you are really dead and tired, but if not, keep your eyes sparkling and smiling...bright eyes!
  9. keep your upper torso quiet when you walk besides your arms, which we have alread talked about.
  10. oh, the neck...always keep your head alined with the rest of your body and spine, and keep your neck slender and tall.

And on a side note, i use jewelry to emphasise things...and i like jewelry. But i have a chocker for my neck inorder to emphasise the slenderness of it, and rings inorder to draw alittle attention to my fingers. But again, i love jewelry, especially unusual renaissance style jewelry. *nods* And i also use my artistic side inorder to do my make up in such a way so that it is dramatic yet natural in a way. That is just something i have learned through the years. Oh and one more thing, use your facial features to your advantage...like those sparkling eyes or those pouty lips...use them! Well, anyhow...those are my tips..and i hope that you all had a good laugh! I found it ammusing to analyze myself! *nods* I LOVE YOU MY DEAR DEAR I.L.L! This is mostly for you! *nods*

Spring break only 3 days away! *dances*

-Reijn

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

"Someone Saved My Life Tonight"

This song still speaks multitudes to me, every day. It means so much to me, everything Elton sais in this song...it says so much. I just had to post it again. If you want to know what is constantly going through my head? This is it...literally! ^_^

-Reijn

When I think of those East End lights, muggy nights
The curtains drawn in the little room downstairs
Prima Donna lord you really should have been there
Sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair
And it's one more beer and I don't hear you anymore
We've all gone crazy lately
My friends out there rolling round the basement floor

And someone saved my life tonight sugar bear
You almost had your hooks in me didn't you dear
You nearly had me roped and tied
Altar-bound, hypnotized
Sweet freedom whispered in my ear
You're a butterfly
And butterflies are free to fly
Fly away, high away, bye bye

I never realised the passing hours of evening showers
A slip noose hanging in my darkest dreams
I'm strangled by your haunted social scene
Just a pawn out-played by a dominating queen
It's four o'clock in the morning
Damn it listen to me good
I'm sleeping with myself tonight
Saved in time, thank God my music's still alive

And I would have walked head on into the deep end of the river
Clinging to your stocks and bonds
Paying your H.P. demands forever
They're coming in the morning with a truck to take me home
Someone saved my life tonight, someone saved my life tonight
Someone saved my life tonight, someone saved my life tonight
Someone saved my life tonight
So save your strength and run the field you play alone

Monday, March 06, 2006

STRESS!!!

OK so i stayed up all night last night working on stuff...and i'm staying up all night tonight working on stuff too! I worked out with Tyler today and it felt good. We both stumbled through my math homework which gave me a headache. And i just finished an english paper. So i have an art project to do and notes to type up sometime this week. *thunk* i'm very very tired right now. Very sleepy and i want to take a shower...*shrugs* oh well. *nods*
ttyl my dears! Spring break next week! *nods*

-Reijn

Sunday, March 05, 2006

...I'm Sleeping With Myself Tonight...

well, nothing too exciting to post today...er about yesterday...its in the early hours of the morning so sue me. Anywho, spent Friday and Saturday with Derek and i told him that i needed Sunday alone to work on homework...and possibly monday too. He agreed so i'm finally sleeping alone for the first time this week. It remindes me of my Elton John song: "It's four o'clock in the morning, Damn it listen to me good. I'm sleeping with myself tonight..." Mmmmmm...its sad...even when Derek mentioned playing chess...i thought about an elton john line..."a pawn out played by a dominating queen." i'm pathetic i know. Anywho...still thinking about the summer job. So...who knows. I'm tired and i'm worn out...its been an interesting weekend to say the least that is going to get more busy with school work. *nods* *sighs* well, i'll talk to you all later! Spring break is so soon! *nods*

-Reijn

Friday, March 03, 2006

Peachwood Ln.

i'm finally working on Peachwood Ln. I almost have a new entry finished...and i'll be updating THIS post to when i finally have an update up and running. *nods* Just giving my readers a heads-up!

-Reijn

The Saga continues

Well, just as I say that life is being slow and i'm enjoying it what happens? The fucking rollercoaster decides to take a 360. Well, everything was going somewhat well with all things considering. I made Derek get up and take me to school yesterday and he wasn't happy about that but oh well, i had a class and he didn't and he wanted me to stay over. Either way, Tuesdays and Thursdays are always busy for me anyways so i didn't have much to think or ponder about. Tyler and I went out to lunch to chat and be friends. The guy broke up with his girlfriend recently so i decided that he needed to stop moping around and hang out. We chatted and joked around like usual. I still think it would be a lethal thing if he and I ever drank together. *nods*

I went to art class and did absolutely nothing. My instructor likes all my ideas and is a total flake. I am undoubtedly the best in the classroom so its frustrating to me when i want input or commentary and all i get is: "I think you are sabotaging your art work so you won't get a perfect grade." WTF!!! yeah right, why would i do that to myown art work? Je ne sais pas. *shakes head* Anywho, Derek's art class let out early so he came up to the Arch. building and hung out with me while i waited for my class to let out. We sat and lightly chatted outside in the hall ways. Afew minutes into it i told Derek that i had to go back to class really quickly and I would be right back. I handed him my cell phone in the gesture of: "here's my phone, i really will be right back because you have my phone!" Well, class let out an hour early and Derek and I started walking down stairs to leave. I noticed that Derek was upset about something so i asked him what was wrong. He said just anxiety. Just anxiety? Well, that's not good. When I left him he was ok. Well, what happened is that he went through my text messages in my cell and saw Joey's messages to me. That was not good at all. Derek freaked. That is percisely why i don't tell him alot of things because he will freak! *shakes head* Well, the long of the short of it is, that i was upset and i called Tyler. He and i chatted about it and met up with Derek. The three of us walked to dinner because walking is good for upset people. Derek and I sorta talked it out for the time being. Fastforwarding: Derek and I talked for hours last night working things out. I honestly don't know how much longer this relationship is going to last. It seems like every time my past or joey comes up in a convo we have to smooth things over. I don't know if either one of us is truly happy. Anywho, we chatted about ourselves and alittle about how i went from "church" girl to well, who I am today. This morning he said that he was happy we had that chat...i just grunted in agreement, but i'm not happy that we had that chat at all.

Now, during the time i was at Derek's last night, a bunch of his friends came over and shaved this guy's head. It was really funny. Lets just say that the poor guy just wanted a close buzz but came down to a completely bald head with lots and lots of wrinkles. He looked like 'tilk from SG1. He has also decided that he should get on Gaia too since i started Derek on it who then started Cory. It is quite ammusing to see them frustrated with the gold situation. I just laugh. I earn gold the old fashion way: chatting but they both fish. *shrugs*

Anywho...ummmmm...i need a shower desperately and i'm going to take one after class. Tonight is movie night in my dorm and Tyler, Derek and I are watching The Who's Tommy. *dances* yes, the one Clements made last year! I miss the music so much and i want Tyler to see it so...*nods* we are so watching it. *nods*

mmmm...elton john fix.

Yesterday was Joey's first preforance. And from reading Jeremy Camp's myspace comments it looked like they all had an amazing time. Joey texted me saying that it was amazing. So i'm glad. I just wish i could have been there too. I wanna go on tour! Maybe if my job thing does not pull through, i'll go to the clubs and stuff around with Joey and his music. We'll see. *nods*

Okies, class starts in about 30 min. and i wanna change shirts. Its cloudy outside and windy and below 50 so i wanna wear something warmer than what i'm wearing now. Anywho: *huggles* all and have a wonderful friday.

I will be going home to the Bubble in one week TODAY! *nods* See ya'll all there! Miss my buds!

-Reijn

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Normality?

mmmm...not much to chat about today. I've been playing shrink to too many people as of lately but its ok...i'm not complaining too much. Mmmmm...i stayed at Derek's again and made dinner. He liked it. There is an asian store where i felt nice and at home. I was able to pick up alot of stuff for dinner there. It was cool. mmmmm...busy day today b/c its thursday. Tuesdays and thursdays are bad days for me. Not much to talk about...so i'm going to chat about it all later. *huggles*

-Reijn

PS: joey, text me next time you wanna chat. *nods*

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Thoughts and Music

wow...i have almost 1100 hits. This is the same counter from the last blog too...i didn't have the heart to start over my counter. So, not really that productive and not much to really write about. I had meetings yesterday and maybe another one today. I bought more night stuff for my cold. I'm trying to prevent it from turning into a sinus infection...as they always do. I got sleep last night so i'm feeling better. I was just running on caffeen yesterday, and i was so not in it at all. And for that matter, i'm so not coherent at all either. Either way. I spent the night at Derek's place. And to all my friends who are reading this: yes he's taking care of me, even though i'd rather him not. I just have a cold. He said i had a fevor too last night and that i was cooking him in bed, but i don't think i had a fevor...i could be wrong. I'm so not coherent right know, i'm doing good to keep my head on strait.

I'm going to do some peer reviews today, edit Cody's paper over Moby Dick...bleh...evil evil book, go shopping for dinner tomorrow night, take a shower....and....*shrugs* get more Sudafed.

Joey is on tour with Jeremy Camp now. I talked to him earlier today before my art history class. I was 3 min late and missed the last bit of Ancient Greece, but i got there in time for the start of China. He is giddy as a little kid at Christmas. Its so cute. His/our friend Lorena took pictures of Joey recently, and i've been attacking them. They are amazing and really capture joey well. She does such a wonderful job. I'm going to see if i can incorperate one of the pictures into my art project comming up. I'm so excited to finally be doing something that I enjoy doing in art. I'm going to finally show alot of my class mates and the department a taste of what i'm capable of. *nod* I'm very excited. I guess its cool that Joey is so into his music and he pushed me to really get into my art. I have taken his pokes and turned it into a huge drive. Its really cool and I thank him from the bottom of my heart or stomach (whichever you prefure) for it.

I was talking to my boss yesterday at the Coffee Haus. And he's a re-discovering christian. So we chatted about it all, which was very interesting. He said something that really has gotten me thinking and reflecting upon myown life. He said that we cannot bring someone else into our lives until we get ourselves in order. How horribly true is that. I saw Joey do this, i've seen Chase do this, my boss is doing it and i need to follow suit. Its not right that i bring other people to share aspects of myself and my life when i'm not even sure where it is going or how i'll end up. I need to know myself and get myself in order before i drag someone else into it...its only fair and right. I don't know...but its something that i've really been thinking about and something i really need to consider.

-Reijn